Apple Inquisition

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Posts tagged retina display

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Apple’s Retina Television Faces Delays Due to Health Concerns

A new Apple television set has been the hotly debated subject of a number of rumors since the release of Steve Jobs’ biography this past month. There is a particular chapter in the book in which Jobs speaks of a new product:

"I’ve been secretly working on an Apple TV set." Jobs told me in confidence. "It’s going to revolutionize the television industry in the most magical way possible. This baby is going to melt faces and make your brain explode."

Unfortunately for Apple, it seems that the new Retina Display television set literally does melt faces in addition to causing other bodily harm to its viewers. Our insider has the scoop:

Apple is currently in the testing stage with the new Apple TV. It looks like it’s still going to be a while before it’s ready for release, though. Product testers have been complaining about headaches, nausea, temporary blindness, diarrhea, permanent blindness, heart attacks, nose failure, death, and cottonmouth. I heard that an entire test facility was destroyed when someone tried to AirPlay an iPhoto slideshow from an iPad 3 to the new Apple TV. It was devastating for the development team to have to go back and tweak their designs.

While the immediate cause of these minor afflictions is still unknown, many people are theorizing that theĀ 15970 x 9780 display is just an unholy number of pixels not meant for mankind.

Stay locked on Apple Inquisition as we bring you the latest on Apple’s secret television projects / weapons.

Filed under Apple TV Steve Jobs Retina Display Face Melting Apple

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EXCLUSIVE: New Retina Display Apple TV

A new rumor is circulating this week regarding an updated Apple TV. What makes this latest iteration of Apple’s popular media device different is the fact that it will not only be a streaming device, but a fully-fledged Retina Display television set. Apple Inquisition is excited to announce that we have recently decided that these rumors are actually hard facts.

The new Apple TV will only be sold in a 52” model. And while it is still unconfirmed as to whether or not the unit will have multi-touch, 3D, or Smell-O-Vision, the new Retina Display is a sure thing. Keeping with the standard set with the iPhone 4, the Apple TV will sport an impressive pixel density of 326 pixels per inch. Standard high-definition television sets today support a resolution of 1920 x 1080 while the new Apple TV boasts a much higher-definition of 15,970 x 9,780.

What all of this means is that watching a full 1080p Blu-Ray film on the Apple TV will take up only four inches of screen space, and frankly, we here at Apple Inquisition are thrilled.

We expect the new Apple TV will launch on Easter Sunday, and it will retail for $36,000 USD.

Filed under apple tv retina display smell-o-vision